Business Travel: Adding Rule 8

Today my friend Sandy invited me to a Swiss fondue party at her home in Ocean Beach.  It was delicious; I completely stuffed my face; and my sole contribution was a bottle of 2.49 buck chuck.

Fondue time!

Rule 7 is perfectly engineered for an occasion like this.  I happily gorged on Swiss cheese, wine and schnapps without guilt.  Rule 7 simply requires that I estimate that cost of my consumption and make an additional donation to Larkin Street at the end of the month. Easy.

Business travel and entertainment is a little trickier, and it is a big test of Rule 6 (the “avoiding food and drink at work unless professional courtesy demands it” rule).

Professional courtesy has demanded that I eat a lot of good food recently.

Earlier this week we had a team offsite in the wine country.  We enjoyed some great wine tasting in Sonoma and a delicious dinner in Napa.  I consumed everything offered to me plus my 20 year-old team member's wine.  Some bottles of wine cost many weeks' food budget.

Later in the week I attended a client meeting in Pennsylvania. For at least five minutes I considered flying economy and staying in a cheap hotel, but any good intentions were trumped by the fact that it would have taken much more organization and time to rebel against standard company policy by saving them money. At this point in the narrative I would love to boast that I didn’t order anything from the hotel bar and that I shunned free booze and ice cream on the plane, but I think you know me better than that by now.

Next week I am flying to Austin, Texas for another client meeting. I will be staying at the Four Seasons. In the context of minimum wage January, this seems rather decadent.  But again I have convincing excuses: it's our company's standard hotel choice; it is very well positioned for the meeting venue; and this is a crucial meeting. (In other words, it would be professionally uncourteous to stay in a Motel 6!)

I briefly considered a Four Seasons rule analogous to Rule 4 (the “don’t use my living room or dining room” rule), in which I am permitted to stay at the Four Seasons but I have to sleep in the bathtub.  However, this only seems humane if I allow myself full access to the hotel bar and the corporate card.

So instead I have developed Rule 8.

Rule 8: Business travel and client activity for work is exempted from all other rules except:

• No expensing alcohol (unless professional courtesy demands it)
• For all meals that I expense to work, I will deduct from my budget an estimate of the cost of an equivalent rice and beans meal (usually about $3).

Applying this rule retroactively, suddenly I don’t seem so frugal. I may even be in the Real Housewives of New Jersey zone of shameful profligacy!